Angel Chernoff interviewed hundreds of self-made millionaires and discovered not just what they do to help their success but also what they will not do.
Ever. Under any circumstances.
Number one on the list:
Do not let unsupportive people drag you down.
And we’re talking about friends you’ve known forever, coworkers you’ve partied with, family members, your digital “friends,” everybody who has your ear.
They are the naysayers, people who just happen to have a negative comment about anything you’re doing to get out of whatever rut you happen to be in. They are going to do everything they can to make sure you stay right next to them in that rut.
I call them crabs.
If you catch (or buy) a bunch of live crabs for a wonderful dinner and put them into a bucket in preparation to boiling them it’s interesting to watch what happens. There’s always one or two who want to escape. It’s like they know they’re about to be dinner.
Here’s what happens.
And it happens every time with any kind of crab. The crowd of crabs won’t let the enterprising crabs out of the bucket. Just like your “friends” who are dead set on keeping you in their bucket.
Fortunately for you, you’re not a crab.
If you’re listening to your crowd of crabs you’re getting ready to retire from the seat you’re sitting in in about 30 or so years. Or, if you don’t have a seat to retire from, get used to food stamps and living in somebody’s basement.
A quick exercise for you.
After you finish this short paragraph, close your eyes and take a deep breath or two. Paint a picture in your head of where you want to be and what you want to be doing in ten years. Hold that picture long enough so that it’s a vivid image in your mind.
OK, do it.
Now, get a piece of paper and a pen and run through all of your friends, family members, co-workers, digital buddies, etc. and make a list of the ones that you know will support your effort to make that picture your real life.
If you’ve got more than five people on that list you’re likely lying to yourself, do it again.
Here’s your action.
The very few people on that short list are your peer group. Everybody else, without regard to blood or how long you’ve known them, is a crab.
Your task, and it’s both difficult and necessary if that vision means anything to you, is to either eliminate those not on your short list from people you are “close” to or build a mental block against everything they are going to say to drag you back into the bucket.
You have goals and dreams. Until right now you may have consigned them to a scrap heap of “what could have been.”
That scrap heap, by-the-way, is outside the bucket you’re sitting in today.
You have to make a choice.
Who are you going to give the key to your dreams?
Those who want to drag you back in the bucket? Or are you going to share it with those few people who want to help you out of the bucket where your dreams live?
The choice is yours.
Who is pulling you back into your crab bucket? Your boss? Some co-workers? Maybe an old friend? Family member?
What are you going to do about it?
Send me an email and let me know. You can also leave a comment but make sure you don’t include enough identifying information to get you in hot water. I’ll respond to any questions in 24 hours and we can work you out of the crab bucket together.